29.9.08

WHEN IT RAINS, IT POURS.

When something awfully bad happens, expect more of it, like domino effect – one after another. It’s just so effin’ pissing when you can’t control the situation, all you need to do is follow and wait. *argh*

Well first I realized I’m in a very compromising relationship (third party issue and all that). I was sick then, went to the hospital, and was diagnosed with PTB (Tuberculosis -minor). Having said so, I can’t go to work because there is a chance I might spread the virus. I can’t go to smoky places, I can’t do my regular diet, I can’t do this, I can’t do that. *sigh* It really annoys me.

And above all this I don’t have ammo to support by pleasurable life. No work = No money. Good thing I still have my dog to play with…

25.9.08

A LITTLE DETAIL.

At around 5:00 pm, my boyfriend arrived and was stupefied on how I looked, even asked if I was sick or something. As my hair cover my face, still managed to mock with a pallid prose, I begun telling things that I found out. The angelic sweetness of his face suddenly flushed with skepticism – it’s as if he’s been hit by a large fist and knocked out in the floor face first. *sigh*

What would you expect? Of course, he’s the king of denial. Everything I figured out in my own ways is not true—unless I have the evidences. It’s like the normal justice system; the culprit is still a suspect, if not proven guilty beyond reasonable doubt. Good thing everything’s in blue print.

It’s almost 6pm; I need to move as quickly as possible. I’m not going to go out that way – looking like hell. I fixed myself, did a bit of makeup (eyebrows, lines, all that yada yada), had my hair done and presto, I’m good to go.

Before we leave, I was even gutsy to ask: “Natatakot ka ba?” He looked shaken but egoistically replied: “Wala akong dapat ikatakot.” *uh huh yeah right*

We’re on the way on a taxicab heading to Robinson’s Ermita. I glanced at him looking barefaced and uninterested. I was calm at that time, I need to stay focused and before I knew it, we’re already there.

The meet-up is in Starbucks- 1st floor, Robinson’s Ermita. I told him to sit there and wait for his ex to get there. I was out looking for ladies room when I saw a girl who consequently sat next to my boyfriend. Though I haven’t flushed off the toxins out my body, I immediately went to their spot and introduced myself: “Hi, I’m Jen”. The girl looked stunned and pissed, of course she’s not anticipating me to be there, all the while he thought she’s texting her ex boyfriend.

FYI: The girl already knew that his ex has a gf and still agreed with the meet up. When I’m texting her pretending to be the ex, I sort of told her I would like to fix the glitch. (Oh yes, I’m a witch). **

I sat there, sipped my Chocolate Cream Frappe and started talking: “Hindi ako nakipagmeet sa’yo para makipag-away, I just want to clear things, we both deserve to know the truth..

The girl glanced at me and said: “Kung may problema kayo, wag n’yo ko idamay..

Though I’m really tempered at that time, I managed to put a fake smile and kind of made a reverse psychology so the conversation went on and on. The girl was still claiming they’re still together until April 2008. And this would be my bf’s response:

Aug 2007 nakipagbreak na ko sa’yo, ayaw mo lang. Alam mo yun, sinabi ko sa’yo yun ng maliwanag. After ng anniversary yun dba. Nagkikita lang naman tayo pag pumupunta ka sa’min kasi iniinvite ka nina mommy.Friends na lang tayo. Nung April tinext ulit kita, kasi nagkakaaway na kami ni Jen, sinabi ko na tama na, kasi nagugulo mo na kami. Nilinaw ko lang pero last year pa tayo nagbreak. Alam mo yan..

Still, the girl was telling me it was a lie:

Girl: “Sige nga, kung hindi na tayo, bakit nandun ako sa birthday mo, ng tita mo, ng mommy mo, fiesta nyo, bagong taon, sige nga?

Boy: “Malay ko sa’yo, eh pumupunta ka eh. Sina mommy nga nag-iinvite sa’yo dba?...

Well, I’m just so effin’ confused about the bumps of their stories. My head’s floating with questions. I really don’t know who to believe and how will I be able to resolve this matter. I truly admit, at first, I’m not serious about “what we have”. We all know the rule: “Never get attached to a person you meet in a club, you never know…” But, it’s still not a logical reason to have two girlfriends at the same time (if that would be the case). And call it pride or whatever but I really CAN”T ACCEPT that I AM THE THIRD PARTY. *sucks*

--- I’m open for ideas, anything that would help me clear my mind would be greatly appreciated. I’m still willing to tell specific details of the story if necessary. *wink*

14.9.08

FIRST STUFF

While I rummage around, I thought I’m still dim-witted, knowing what the right thing is, but haven’t got the audacity to do so. I’m not quite sure if it’s me creating the problem, or it’s ME being the problem. The golden rule is: NEVER DATE A MODEL, or if you did, never ever and I mean, ever, get emotionally attached. It’s a loss-loss situation; you’ll probably end up just like me – confused.

It’s a pride boosting scenario when your colleagues drool over the guy whose standing next to you. Suddenly, the spot light’s on - you are the center of attention and unwittingly, you hear murmurs asking “Who’s that guy?” *wink*

It all started in a local bar – Eastwood City, QC – about September 2007 - “The Basement”. It’s just a typical luscious night out with my party mate, just wanted to chill out, perk up, get drunk, and move to the beat. It’s Saturday night! Everyone’s gone wild. All are dressed to impress Hotties to the left, Cutties to the right.

While booty shaking is everywhere, I suddenly felt a bang on my back and dang, it hurts! *Arrgghh….* I instantly turned my head and said “Ano ba yan?!” With all the smoke covering the dance floor plus the playful thumping of the dj’s mix, the guy, whom my party mate is eying minutes ago, looked me in the eyes and said: “Hi Miss, can we dance?” So on, so forth, the rest was history.

Come July 2008, I thought our relationship was UNTOUCHABLE. At that time, everything seemed just right, so right that you don’t want each other be out of sight- nobody can go in between. Like normal couples, we argue at times, due to indifferences and all that, nothing serious though. Until one day he left his cellular phone in my possession.

There’s no big deal about him leaving his phone with me, I mean, I answer his phone when someone’s calling, reads his sms’s at times, check his log’s per se. And I thought it’s all that.

It’s a normal sunny afternoon when his cousin, whom I treat as a sister, texted him with a simple message: “Kuya…” I don’t know what came to me but at that time, I tripped and pretended to be him. The conversation seemed normal and smooth until the blood of curiosity impelled in my system….
I asked about my boyfriend’s so-called ex girlfriend, and this is how the conversation seemed to look like…

ME: “Nagttxt pb sau c …..?”
HER: “Minsn nagttxt ng quote, bkt kua?”
ME: “Wla lng, my kylngn kze aqng kunin sa kanya, kelan pb cia huling nagtxt sau?”
HER: “Mtgal2 n rin eh, mnsan nanga2musta. Ano b kylngn mo sa knya?”
ME: “Bsta, un p din ba no. nia?"
HER: “ E2 oh… 0905………. Txt mo nlng cia”

*ding!*

I looked at the number, froze for a moment, think deeply, pause, and a hard whack cut the middle of my chest – THE NUMBER LOOKS SO FAMILIAR. At no second thought, I knew it! This is the number texting him gazillion times before. I immediately opened up a chitty chat, still acting as if I was him.

There you go; I discerned things I never thought would exist. Later did I know, I was floating around, with mixed emotion and a heavy stomach. Shocked, confused. This simple text message could explain where I’m coming from….

EX: “Alam mo, until now hindi ko pa rin alam bkit tau naghiwalay last april. 2 yrs na sana tau sa aug 19. Ndi ko alam ano ngawa ko, ni ayaw mo na makipag-usap ng personal….”

Alright, if that brought you confusion, let me put a little detail on it. *sigh*

Me and my boyfriend started hanging out early September 2007, and were formally together on the 28th of October 2007. The girl was claiming they broke up April 2008, which means we are sharing a guy for SIX MONTHS in a row……

***it’s not ending up here, just want to check responses, wait until I tell the other half of the story. Especially the meet up between him, her, and me. *wink*